Slap your headphones on and brace your tender ear holes for Episode 262 of the Rich Dickman Show: “Well-Readed Randy.” This shitshow of a podcast drops a hot steaming load of real life right onto your poor, unsuspecting eardrums.

We kick off with Father-of-the-Year, who’s losing his goddamn mind over his hellspawn’s piss-poor attempt at housekeeping and vomit decorum. Mother’s Day weekend finds this martyr busting his ass scrubbing the car while his ungrateful offspring are in their pigsty rooms, having a dank meme-fest. The cherry on top? His son, the vomit virtuoso, misplaces the fucking garage door opener, flaunting their home’s security vulnerabilities for all to see.

But the shitstorm’s just getting started. Little Houdini gets locked out, only to break in through a window. Top-tier home security my ass! As if the fiasco couldn’t get worse, the vomit savant decides the sink is his personal barf bucket. Cue the debate that could make Shakespeare hurl in his grave – to hurl or not to hurl.

Our vomit-obsessed protagonist falls sick, but daddy-dearest insists he clean up his puke Picasso. Some call it tough love; we call it goddamn hilarious. In the midst of the hurling, we discover the kid suffers from a chronic case of “can’t-aim-for-shit-itis.” Pops is nearing meltdown, Mom’s fantasizing about a one-way ticket to sanity, and we’re struggling to keep our own guts from bursting in laughter.

As we wait for the inevitable vomit-fueled apocalypse to hit home, we swerve into everyone’s favorite topic – the art of upchuck aiming. Apparently, as adults, we should have a sixth sense for incoming hurl and bolt for the toilet. Unfortunately, our poor kid missed that memo, leaving dad fearing both divine wrath and the 16-hour bug.

In a twist nobody asked for, we ditch vomit for violence, recounting a street brawl featuring a drunken idiot and a heavyweight Hawaiian with a high-kick that’d make Bruce Lee proud. It’s surprisingly entertaining watching a 300-pound guy drop-kick a drunk into the next week.

Next up, we’ve got Texas drag queens, NJ – the official armpit of America, and an Icelandic chocolate that’s just too tasty for its own good. In the chaos, we find time to give a shout-out to rainbow Jesus and debate some Transformers-themed art. Nothing like a dash of Optimus Prime and holy water to keep the shit interesting.

We end this trainwreck with a teaser for the next episode – Jesus as a cereal mascot. You read that right, folks. But for now, we’re leaving you with the stench of barf, the image of a Technicolor Jesus, and a glimpse at our upcoming shitshow. So buckle up, suck it up, and get ready for another wild ride with The Rich Dickman Show.